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Borderline Personality Disorder Behaviors Checklist
If you are in a relationship with someone and the relationship is a “stormy”
one, you may be wondering if that person may have Borderline Personality
Disorder. If you are, you might want to know that there are certain behaviors
that can indicate that a person may have Borderline Personality Disorder.
Ask yourself the following questions:
1. Do they have trouble defining their personal boundaries?
2. Do they have trouble respecting/observing my personal boundaries?
3. Do they act impulsively, and do they do this much too often?
4. Do they engage in self-injurious behavior (self-mutilation, cutting, burning,
5. Do they spend too much, shoplift, engage in risky sexual behavior, fight,
gamble excessively, drive recklessly, and/or binge eat/purge?
6. Do they abuse alcohol and/or drugs?
7. Do they threaten to kill themselves, and/or have they tried to commit
8. Did they rush into this relationship?
9. Do they make unreasonable demands upon me?
10. Do they make unreasonable demands upon the relationship?
11. Do they act needy and demanding one minute and push me away the next minute?
12. Do they act like they want to be with me one day and reject me the next day?
13. Have they broken up with me (at least once) and then gotten back together
with me quickly?
14. Do they make me feel like I can never do enough for them?
15. Do they make me feel like I can never do anything right?
16. Do they expect more from me than I can give?
17. Do they seem like they are always in “crisis-mode?”
18. Do they needlessly create crises or live a chaotic lifestyle?
19. Are they a “drama queen/king?”
20. Do they seem to blow things out of proportion?
21. Do they seem to be competent and controlled in some situations, yet
extremely out of control in others?
22. Are they competent and controlled in a situation at one time, yet
incompetent and out of control in the same situation at another time?
23. Do they often go into a rage?
24. Do they often go into a rage over seemingly nothing (trivial things)?
25. Is their rage unpredictable?
26. Am I afraid of making them angry?
27. Is their behavior in general often unpredictable or inconsistent?
28. Do I feel as if I am walking on eggshells?
29. Do they seem to “stuff” their feelings?
30. Do they “stuff” their feelings and then release them all at once?
31. Do they take things out on me?
32. Do they physically abuse me?
33. Do they mentally/emotionally abuse me?
34. Do they verbally abuse me?
35. Do they blame me for how they are feeling?
36. Do they blame me for things that are not my fault?
37. Do they blame me for things that they do?
38. Do they make me feel guilty?
39. Do they criticize me?
40. Do they pick fights with me?
41. Do they especially pick fights with me when things seem to be going well
42. Do they treat me well in front of other people, but treat me bad when we are
43. Do they seem to cut people out of their life over trivial issues?
44. Do they verbally abuse others (criticize or blame them)?
45. Do they act charming toward strangers, yet abusively toward people they know
46. Do they seem to switch moods very quickly?
47. Are they very manipulative?
48. Are they a very controlling person?
49. Do they seem to always focus the attention on themselves?
50. Do they deny saying and/or doing things that I know they said and did?
If you answered “yes” to many/most of the above questions, you are most
likely involved with a person who has Borderline Personality Disorder. There is
no “cure” for the disorder, but treatment is possible, if the person wants help.
Treatment consists of medication and therapy.
If you are being abused, however, as many of the above questions may
indicate, you must get help for yourself. The person who has Borderline
Personality Disorder may deny being abusive towards you. He/she may be in denial
over having Borderline Personality Disorder, and may not be willing to seek
help. If that is the case, there is nothing you can do to help him/her, and you
must help yourself.
About the Author
David Oliver is the founder of
a one stop source of information on how to cope and deal with borderline
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