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Recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder: A Matter of Choice

It is possible to recover from Borderline Personality Disorder, but it is a matter of choice. In order to get on, and stay on, the road to recovery, you must be willing to challenge all the defense mechanisms which have been hindering you.

Until now, you have most likely (unconsciously) developed defense mechanisms that have actually prevented you from recovering from Borderline Personality Disorder. By gaining awareness of these defense mechanisms, you can begin the road to recovery from the disorder; however, awareness is only the first step. You will have to choose between your continued suffering and making the necessary changes for recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder. This may sound like a “no-brainer,” but to many people who have the disorder, their suffering, no matter how painful, is still more comfortable than the challenge that change will bring.

Recovery is all about choice. It is up to you to choose between the familiar (suffering) and unfamiliar (change). Up until now, you have been making choices that keep you stuck in your pain, suffering, isolation, and learned helplessness. Now, however, it is possible for you to learn to make new and different choices – but it is up to you.

Just the idea that you may be responsible for your own suffering may be a new idea to you, and may cause you to become defensive; however, one of the characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder is the fact that many borderlines feel like they are victims; not taking responsibility for themselves, their situations, and/or their problems. To take responsibility for your own suffering is a big step in itself. Yes, in the beginning, when you were a child, you were a victim – but you are no longer a victim. The suffering you are experiencing now is a result of your own choices. If you can accept that, then you are ready to take the next step toward recovery.

When you can accept that you are responsible for what happens to you, you are willing to take control of your own life. When you were a child, other people had control over your life, but now your life is a matter of your own choices – now you have a choice over whether you suffer or not. You can learn to control the pain of the past, and to learn how to deal with that pain; even to get over that pain. You can even learn how to avoid that pain in the future. It is all about learning how to make good choices.

One of the first things you must do is change your own self-image. Because of your childhood, you probably think of yourself as “damaged goods,” as “broken,” or simply as a bad person. Try to think of all the good things you have done. Write them down, so you can see them for yourself. If you can only think of a few things at first, go back at a later time and try again. Add to your list as you go. Ask other people to tell you about the good they see in you, and add their insights to your list. Then you will have a physical reminder of the fact that you are not, in fact, damaged, broken, or a bad person at all! You are simply a good person who has made bad choices. But that’s ok! We are all human. We all make mistakes. Nobody is perfect.

Think of yourself in relation to other people. Do you expect more of yourself than you expect of other people? Try to give yourself the same break as you would give someone else. Once you allow yourself to be human, to accept the fact that you have made mistakes, and that is ok, you will be ready to take the next step on your journey to recovery from Borderline Personality Disorder.

About the Author

David Oliver is the founder of BorderlineCentral.com a one stop source of information on how to cope and deal with borderline personality disorder.

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