If Your Loved One Refuses Treatment

Helping a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder who refuses treatment is one of the most difficult problem areas in dealing with the disorder. There are several reasons why people with Borderline Personality Disorder may refuse treatment – and some things you can do to help them anyway. Unfortunately, the bottom line is that if they don’t want your help, there is nothing you can do to help them.

One of the reasons that someone with Borderline Personality Disorder might refuse treatment is that are in denial. In other words, they don’t believe that they even have Borderline Personality Disorder. This could be because of two things: (1) People with Borderline Personality Disorder can enjoy long periods of “stability,” or periods of time during which they don’t “seem” to exhibit the symptoms of the disorder; and (2) many people with Borderline Personality Disorder go into rages due to their impulsiveness and extreme anger, and later have no memory, or a “different” memory of the event(s) than other people who were there. If they do remember the event at all, it may be to see themselves as the victim, rather than the perpetrator, or at least to see themselves as innocent of the accusations being made towards them.

Another problem with denial is that since the person denies having Borderline Personality Disorder, they see no need to take medication for the disorder. Unfortunately, this leads to a cycle, wherein the lack of medication to control their impulsivity leads to emotional upheaval and their emotions run rampant once again, leading to poor impulse control, and then they exhibit the very symptoms for which they were diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder in the first place – the reason why they were put on medication.

While the person with Borderline Personality Disorder is off their medication, and while they are again experiencing the mood swings and emotional chaos of Borderline Personality Disorder that led to their original diagnosis, they may be more apt to listen to you if you try to encourage them to get help for their disorder – at least as far as getting back on their medication goes.

Another reason for denial could be fear of the stigma associated with Borderline Personality Disorder, especially if the person with the disorder is still working. If it’s hard to admit to themselves that they have Borderline Personality Disorder, it’s even harder to admit to their co-workers and boss. There is still a general lack of public education about Borderline Personality Disorder, and many people are still uneducated (and therefore fearful) of the disorder, and this can lead to misunderstanding or judgment of the person who has Borderline Personality Disorder.

There are certain things you can do to help a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder who refuses treatment; such as: encourage them to take their medication, help them to see when they are exhibiting symptoms of the disorder; setting boundaries and sticking to them; refusing to allow them to abuse you; etc.

Unfortunately, there are some things you cannot do as well. For instance, unless the person with Borderline Personality Disorder meets the criteria for involuntary institutional commitment procedures, they cannot be forced into treatment for Borderline Personality Disorder.

Following are some suggestions for what you can do to help a loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder who refuses treatment:

• Call 911 if your loved one is an immediate danger to themselves and/or to you. Especially if your loved one is self-mutilating and/or threatening suicide, and/or is being physically abusive toward you. The police can also call a Mobile Crisis Unit, who specializes in intervention for people with a mental illness.
• Call your loved one’s psychiatrist, who may be able to help with medications.
• Call your loved one’s therapist, especially if they are in Dialectical Behavior Therapy, since in-between session telephone calls are part of the therapy.
• Call your loved one’s doctor, as you may be able to convince them to see a doctor easier than a psychiatrist or therapist, and still be able to get treatment for your loved one.
• Consider that you may have to leave your loved one – either temporarily (for them to see that they really do need to get help), or permanently (to get help for yourself; to remove yourself from a dangerously unhealthy relationship).

The above are only suggestions for ways you can help your loved one with Borderline Personality Disorder to get treatment. Unfortunately, if they still refuse to get help, there is nothing you can do to help them. They must want to get help for themselves.

About the Author

David Oliver is the founder of BorderlineCentral.com a one stop source of information on how to cope and deal with borderline personality disorder.

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