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The Root of Borderline Personality Disorder

It is the broken relationships of childhood that are, many times, at the root of a person’s Borderline Personality Disorder. Out of these broken relationships stem a person’s basic negative sense of self, insecurity, incessant need for others (yet, at the same time, pushing them away), and stormy adult relationships; all characteristics of Borderline Personality Disorder.

A.J. Mahari has written an e-book called The Legacy of Abandonment in Borderline Personality Disorder – An Examination of the Core Wound of Abandonment, in which she states that the core wound of abandonment is basic to Borderline Personality Disorder. She believes that if you have Borderline Personality Disorder, “awareness of the core wound of abandonment will change your life.”

According to Mahari, the core wound of abandonment in people who have been diagnosed with Borderline Personality Disorder is the source of insecure or non-existent attachment which leads to the toxic and unhealthy ruptured relationships that have, at their center, an insatiable need for love.

The broken relationships of a person with Borderline Personality Disorder often rupture under the weight of the borderline’s child-like behavior and often (obsessive) overly demanding needs. These needs stem from the fact that they are still searching for the much-needed but unmet unconditional acceptance, validation and love of a parent during early childhood development.
Many adult borderlines report early childhood physical and sexual abuse and/or abandonment, and are still dealing with the issues stemming from this abuse/abandonment.
Marsha Linehan, researcher and developer of Dialectical Behavior Therapy, the specialized form of psychotherapy used specifically for treatment of those people who have Borderline Personality Disorder, also recognizes abandonment as the root of the disorder. Abandonment, as a form of childhood abuse, is what she terms “invalidation” of the child’s thoughts, feelings, and core needs from the parents (or primary caregiver).

When the core needs for love and affection, or attention, of the child are not met at the primary stages of development, these needs are carried into adulthood, and the person will find themselves involved in very stormy relationships. These relationships are characterized by what is termed as “splitting;” meaning that they see people (or things, or situations) as “all good” or “all bad.” In other words, they may be involved in “love-hate” relationships.

One of the major characteristics of someone with Borderline Personality Disorder is a dysfunction in interpersonal relationships. The root of these dysfunctional relationships is the fact that they never had healthy relationships as a child, so that as an adult, they are still searching for “validation” of their thoughts, feelings, and even their sense of self.

From the core wound of abandonment, many people with Borderline Personality Disorder will look at themselves as victims, blaming their problems on other people and, thus, not taking responsibility for themselves, their situations, or their problems.

About the Author

David Oliver is the founder of BorderlineCentral.com a one stop source of information on how to cope and deal with borderline personality disorder.

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